Planning a Funeral

Most people plan a funeral once or twice in a lifetime, with no preparation and very little sleep.

This page walks through what the arrangement conference actually covers, so that the meeting is less of a surprise. If you would rather just talk it through, call (575) 342-1005. That is easier than reading, and we would rather you called.

For the services themselves, see our Funeral Services page.

The arrangement conference is the sit-down where the service takes shape. It generally runs longer than families expect, so bring more than one person if you can. Two people remember more than one, and decisions made together sit better afterward.

What gets decided:

• Burial or cremation
• Whether there will be visitation, and whether there will be a viewing
• Where the service will be held, and who will lead it
• The date and time, which depend on clergy, the cemetery, family travel, and the honor guard if there is one
• Casket or urn, and an outer burial container if the cemetery requires one
• The obituary — what it says and where it runs
• Music, readings, pallbearers, and who will speak

You can change your mind between the conference and the service. Tell us. That is not a problem.

You have the right to clear prices, in writing, before you agree to anything. That is federal law, not a courtesy. Under the Federal Trade Commission’s Funeral Rule:

• You may have a copy of our general price list, itemized, to keep
• You may get price information over the telephone, without giving your name
• You may see a casket price list before you are shown any caskets
• You may buy only the goods and services you want, with limited exceptions
• You may supply a casket or urn bought elsewhere, and we may not charge a fee for handling it
• A casket is not required for direct cremation; an alternative container may be used
• Embalming is not required by law in most circumstances, and no funeral home may embalm for a fee without permission

Ask what a price includes and what it does not. Cash advance items — clergy honoraria, cemetery fees, certified death certificates, newspaper notices, flowers — are paid out to third parties and are listed separately from our own charges.

The most useful thing you can do for the people who will one day plan your funeral is to write down what you want, and then tell them where you wrote it. A will is the wrong place — it is often not read until well after the funeral.

New Mexico law follows written instructions where they exist. Where they do not, the right to decide passes down a fixed order: the surviving spouse, then a majority of the adult children, then the parents, then a majority of the siblings, then an adult who has shown special care and concern for the person and knows their wishes, and then the next degree of kin.

That order is exactly how families end up disagreeing in a hospital corridor. Writing your wishes down settles it in advance. Our pre-planning page explains how to record them with us, with no obligation and no pressure.